Fatty McFatterson.....

I'm loving this challenge!!

I've fallen off the wagon. Well more like broke one of the wagon wheels cause I've been eating like a big fat fatty. It's been 10 days since I've last blogged and I guess you could say I've been on a food bender. Wow, I totally know what it's like to be a drug addict...but in the food sense. It's been a really busy few days filled with calories, school projects, and birthday parties. My Dad turned 50 so we celebrated his birthday at Kelsey's. Earlier on in my 'healthy eating journey', I decided that I was going to look up the Kelsey's menu and find a healthy dinner to order. Didn't get around to that, probably because I was baking something and eating it. I figured that I would eat whatever I wanted at Kelsey's because I "deserved it". Yes, apparently I am a dog and I can reward myself with food. In anticipation for this "reward", I dug out my maternity jeans to wear. This should have been a sign that it was a bad idea. I anticipated stuffing my face to the point of my pants not fitting......oh man. One pulled pork sandwich, 2 giant glasses of Pepsi and free dessert later, I probably should have been rolled home. Gross. I've also come to realize that I'm an emotional eater. Sad face= stuff my face. Such a vicious cycle. On the upside of all of this, I've been making slightly healthier choices throughout my day that I normally wouldn't. I discovered that tossing some carrot sticks in olive oil and Italian seasoning and then baking it, makes me wanna hump the stove it's so good. I've found a delicious 12 grain bread that is amazeballs. I just need to keep finding healthy things to replace the not so healthy things that I love.
I managed to finish the second week of that fitness thingy that I was doing. Then stuff got busy, Matt was working longer. Projects were due, sleep was lost...I haven't been to the gym in a week now. Makes me sad cause I felt like I was getting into a "groove"....kinda like the butt groove I leave on my couch cushion. Must....get...back...to...gym.....

Food Anonymous Meetings?

Look at my sexy booody.....

I'm pretty sure I have an addiction to food. Despite the fact that I need it to live, as well as keep my wicked awesome figure, it has such a ridiculous hold on me. I had a wicked awesome week. Egg whites for breakfast, whole grain breads and salads for lunch and a protein and veggies for dinner. I didn't snack at all and actually ate a pomegranate for 2 hours (yes, 2 hours) so I wouldn't snack. And then the weekend came. A lot of people had talked about having a cheat day. I noticed while putting Jaedyn's hair up that she had head lice. What a perfect reason to eat horrible comfort food. So Saturday it was. We ordered pizza for dinner and bought chips and junk food. I know that when you have a cheat day, you probably shouldn't eat enough calories for the whole week. I didn't eat nearly as much as I had anticipated, but I felt like I shouldn't have eaten as much as I did. Now please don't imagine me sitting alone on my couch covered in crumbs with empty wrappers around me while I cry. That didn't happen at all. I threw the wrappers out....No but seriously. When you're on a diet or "shunning shitty food" as I like to call it, the idea of eating something that isn't good for you is a "bad" thing. I know I'm gonna feel like crap after I eat that donut, but that donut is going to taste soooo good. More times than none, the image of Fat Bastard from Austin Powers popped into my head. 'I eat because I'm unhappy and I'm unhappy because I eat'. Once I eat one bad thing, my mind is like "Hey fatass, you've already eaten a cookie, how bought 4 more" Luckily, I didn't let my HORRIBLE weekend ruin the start of this week.
Oh ya, I also went to the gym four times last week. 4 times! Proud of ma self! lol Hitting the gym tomorrow for my second week of Jamie Eason's live fit program. Jamie Eason is a cute little fitness model who seems to know her shit. Hopefully her program helps to firm my shit up...wait that didn't sound right at all....

Nakedness the final frontier.....

What gym is this?!!?

Tricia and I went to the gym the other day so she could sign up. I'm not 100% sure if there was an Aquafit class ending or just a regular swim but when we got there, there was a whole bunch of ladies coming out of the pool into the change room. Now I do not "change" in the changeroom. Let's be honest, if I did, I'd be hiding in a bathroom stall with my eyes closed while changing because even I don't want to see myself naked.  Well, these water logged ladies feel a lot different about being naked in front of other people. I don't make a habit of glancing at naked people in the change room so let's clear that up right away. However, there was one lady in all of her nakedness glory that caught my eye (and not just because she was rather large). Now this lady was large enough to make me look thin. I am in no way judging this woman so please, read on. So with trying to keep chatty conversation with Trish, I noticed that this woman was standing there talking to her friend completely naked. 100%, not a shred of fabric, I don't need a towel to cover me naked. Okay, I understand that it's a change room and these things are normal. But this woman was talking to her friend for a very long time, just letting it all hang out. What's odd is that I didn't once think that the woman was "gross" or needed to put her clothes back on. I was incredibly jealous. Even though the lady was close to 300 pounds, I was jealous! She had more confidence in every inch of her body than I did in my entire 28 years of existence. I hate getting naked alone when I am getting into the shower. If it was socially and hygienically acceptable for me to shower in a t-shirt, I would. This woman was giving the whole change room more of a show than I give my boyfriend on a night when I feel bad cause it's been too long. Too much info for you? Probably...ANYWAY, I'm not saying that I want to be that naked chick in the change room who's working it, but I would like to be that person who can at least not vomit in my mouth when I change in the morning. Mini goal? Yes. Get thin enough to not wanna cry and eat a cookie when I get naked. 

No kids=No willpower....

If you have children, this post will make a lot more sense than if you don't. Things are very different when children are either in bed sleeping or at a sleep over. That's when the good food comes out. The hidden food that you bought and don't want to share. Or the pizza that you order and you again, don't want to share. I literally share everything I have with my kids and very rarely do I do things for myself. I don't even poop by myself most of the time. Apparently, it's family conference time when I do my business. Warning to anyone who doesn't have children, once you do, you lose every ounce of privacy you've ever had. Anyways, back to the point of this post. So with both children gone this weekend, Hayden to his Dad's and Jaedyn to a friends for 2 nights, Matt and I ate horribly. Friday night we ordered Chinese food. I'm sure there's healthy versions of Chinese food that I could have substituted my meal for, but let's be honest, that's not gonna make this hefty mama happy. So in all it's deep fried, battered goodness, unshared Chinese food was a success. Then Saturday night while out doing some running around, for some reason the van decided to go to Taco Bell. We don't go to Taco Bell much and obviously the right time to go is when I've started a diet. I'm not even going to explain to you all the delicious calories I consumed but I do realise that I was probably born without willpower. 

The definition of willpower is 'self-control: the trait of resolutely controlling your own behavior'. I definitely have none of that. I feel like I use all my self control up in other aspects of my life. Containing my road rage can be a really daunting task and that takes an incredible amount of self control therefore I have no choice but to order Taco Bell to even things out in my life. If you've bought this excuse then I feel as though I have accomplished something. So, it's Monday. A new start to the week. And yet again, I see myself mentally preparing for a clean eating healthy week (with the exception of today) So with a teething sick coughy infant, a sick coughy 5 year old and a 9 year old's huge Castle project due, I begin on my quest yet again. Let the healthy eating, lame excuses and crying because I ate too many cookies week begin!!

Death to candy!

I've had FAR too many visits
from this fairy

         I'm not sure who thought of putting Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas so close together but obviously they weren't on a diet. Thanksgiving, we spend eating as much food as we can. This year I even contemplated putting on my maternity jeans to get a wee bit more room for pie. Then once we recover from Thanksgiving, we move on to Halloween. Although it is a day for children, it took over new meaning once I had kids. It meant I get to dress them up, send them out and I get to eat candy. Heck ya! This year I'm approaching things a little different. I'm hoping that I can keep the consumption to a minimum. I also realized via Facebook pictures that I haven't really dressed up for Halloween since I was like 14. I've never had the chance to be a "Halloween Whore" like many other girls have. I do have children so the last thing I want to do is embarrass them but let's be honest, every girl needs to have their boobs hang out as a "witch" or "fairy" once in a while. Let's be honest, if I were to stuff myself into a "fairy" costume, it would clearly be the scariest thing you've ever seen. So mini goal for next year, lose the gut and let the boobs hang out for a Halloween party. All I have to do is figure out how not to eat holiday baked goods until I can't move.
         So with trying my best to have some Halloween candy restraint I also have decided to designate a night for 'food prep night'. On Pinterest, there are a lot of different pins devoted to meal prep. I found one that gives you a good list of things to cook one night a week and keep in the freezer for the rest of the week. Boiling eggs, cooking chicken, cutting up veggies. Kind of no-brainer stuff that I clearer should have thought of before. It will be much easier to grab food already prepped rather than trying to make a meal while feeding Carter, helping Jae with homework and trying to figure out why Hayden is having another crying fit. As we speak, Hayden is freaking out cause he keeps dropping his Goldfish crackers and Carter is crawling his way towards the kitchen to destroy something I'm sure....
        Gym membership start back up this month! Not only am I pumped to work out again but I get at least an hour away from the madness at home...Thank you baby Jesus!!