*sigh...*

"little person" gasoline thieves.....

I had just finished ordering my medium Iced Capp, 360 calories of goodness, when the lady on the radio said that on this day, people statistically give up on their New Years Resolution. It was the 10th. So 10 days into the New Year, I wasn't the only one who had started to consume fat ass foods again. As my last post stated, I did pretty good. Made it to the gym, ate really good but then for some reason, this week sucked ass.I was too busy on Monday to prep for the week and thought that I'd be able to make healthy food quick. Putting together a salad and chopping up veggies takes a lot longer than I thought! When you've got one kid stuck under a bed screaming for help and the other one climbing the stairs when he shouldn't be, the last thing on your mind is making a healthy salad. I spent most mornings reheating my sugar loaded coffee and completely skipping breakfast. They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I say you feed 3 kids breakfast, make their lunches, stop Carter from eating the cat food, find Hayden's matching sock, brush out Jaedyn's bed head, stop Carter from putting the cat food in it's water dish, find Hayden's other mitten, argue with Hayden to put mittens on, stop Carter from eating the cat food out of the water dish,  wrestle with Carter to get him into his jacket, still arguing with Hayden to get his mitts on, start panicking because we're going to be late for school and then finally get them in the van to go to school. Now you tell me how important breakfast is and when the hell I'm gonna find time to eat it. So obviously meal prep for breakfast is important. I've also decided that it's best if I cancel my gym membership. I know that going to the gym is going to be more beneficial for me, but I've found that finding the time is getting harder and harder. By the time the kids get home from school and Matt home from work, with dinner, baths and homework, all I want to do is sit and do nothing. I need to find time during the day to workout at home. I'm hoping that the snow decides to stay away and I get outside and go walk and eventually start running. Maybe when I don't sound like a 50year old overweight smoker when I run. Running outside is soooo much different than running inside on a treadmill. I can run forever on a treadmill and by forever I mean 20 minutes, which clearly is forever in fat girl talk. When I get outside tho, it's like I've never ran in my life and a minute is an eternity. I blame gross Trenton air, that's gotta have something to do with it right?

Okay, so new game plan. Meal prep is important as shit. Sunday night is the night. If I make things that are healthy to eat and can eat them while making a bottle and beating a level on Mario, then I'm set. Also, figure out workouts to do at home. My family is definitely gonna think I've lost my shit when I start squatting while doing the dishes and running on the spot during commercials, but really I think I'm slowly losing it anyway. Here's to another crazy week!

Burpee's = Death

          Almost a week into 2013 and if I do say so myself, I've done fairly well. Well until today, but today doesn't count...Healthy eating has been quite a journey. I find that if I throw a ridiculous amount of veggies into a bowl and squeeze a lemon or lime over it, it's completely edible. Boo ya! I've made it to the gym a couple of times with Trish and today I did my first at home Crossfit workout. If you're not sure what Crossfit is, look it up. To sum it up, it's death. Really fast paced, death move after death move. Makes a fat chick feel like a panting, sweaty Fatty McFatterson when you're done. Thank God I decided to do it at home, alone, while Carter napped. Seriously if someone had been home, they'd have tried to call 911 due to my inability to breathe and make coherent words. Okay, it wasn't that bad but still, it kicked my ass. Good ol' Pinterest gave me a 2 week beginner Crossfit program that I can do at home. Day 1- 10 burpees, 20 squats, 30 situps. Do it as fast as you can 3 times. Seems easy enough.

Let me break it down for you. First set- Burpees suck, but I can handle this. Pshhh squats please, I can bust out 20 in my sleep. Situps...no problem. Set 2- Oh wow, burpees are sucking even more and they are definitely not looking so pretty. Ohhh these squats are starting to burn. Situps, I feel you man. Set 3- omg...if I jump and then just fall to the ground, is that considered a burpee. Mother of God, these squats can suck my nuts. Oh good, I'm on the ground doing these situps. It's much easier for me to die on the floor. 

So glad I'm a girl

          I set the little stop watch on my Ipod to time this craziness. I surprisingly got it all done and in 5min 35 seconds. I've ran on a treadmill for half an hour and didn't feel this jello-y before. Best part about the whole thing is though is that I didn't bitch out and did the whole thing. Chest bump to myself!
          I've also come to learn that music is a very important part in my cardio. While I was on the elliptical (yes, I know. Elliptical's probably aren't the most calorie burning machines available, but I'm not sitting on the couch) I had my Ipod on shuffle. It was just playing whatever was in my music list. So I'm all jacked up on Gangman Style, heeeeey sexy lady and then my Ipod changes to country. Now don't get me wrong, I love country music but it is not something I can workout to. Talk about losing your cardio boner. Please note: I do not get a boner when I do cardio. Cardio does NOT give me a boner in any shape or form. So I need to make a playlist and stick to it so I don't go soft like a grown man who forgot to pop a Viagra during a run.

Happy news, signed up for the Color Run in Montreal. SO pumped for it!!

"I'm gonna motha-effing do shit" list

Get it girl!

Looks sooo fun!

It's that time of year again. The time where we get to reflect on the past year, realize that we've gotten a lot fatter than we thought and we make our resolution to stop being so fat. If I wasn't so fat, I obviously wouldn't be sitting here pondering what my resolution is going to be. If I had followed through on all my resolutions, I'd be the skinniest bitch around and trying to figure out which bikini I'm going to be wearing this summer. Resolutions are made to be broken, and I am the Queen of breaking them. So this year I've decided to make an "I'm gonna motha-effing do shit" list. It goes a little something like this. 1. Legit try to stop being a fat ass. Stop eating good for a week and then fall off the fat wagon. 2. Eat clean. People who eat clean are healthy and hot. 3. Yoga. I love yoga even tho it's probably not the nicest thing to watch. I apologize if you have images of me in the downward dog position, it's my goal to make that look less frightening. 4. Colour Run. There's a 5K colour run in Montreal in August. Google it, seriously. It looks crazy fun. I'm paying for it in January so I have to do it. There's no way I'm wasting $40! There's a few other things unrelated, skydive, tattooes and all that jazz but I really need to focus on the first 4.
This holiday season has been absolutely dreadful in the healthy eating department. Between Starbucks holiday drinks (Caramel Brulee make me wanna punch a nun they're so good), giant turkeys with gravy and baking; I got a wee bit more fat than my last blog. Seriously though, Santa didn't give me willpower for Christmas and tis' the season to be jolly. Jolly=fat fyi. So now, I get to head to the gym with all the other people who decided to change their New Years resolution to getting fit and annoy the regulars there. Hopefully I can keep going to the gym in February and beyond. I'm taking bets for when I'll fall off the wagon and rethink my game plan. I give it 2 weeks....lol

Damn you cupcakes!

Meal prepping like a boss!

It's been a good week! Kind of. I've been making a lot of random yummy healthy food. A couple of smoothies for breakfast (strawberry, banana, Greek yogurt and a bit of orange juice), some healthy cookies, prepped all my dinners for the week in one night. I've been on the train to healthy land. And then I made cupcakes. Damn it. Things were going splendid. The scale even said I lost five pounds (in which I think it's a big fat liar). When I bake things for people, I feel the need to taste it to make sure that everything is good. I make a few extra cupcakes and if they taste good, I go ahead and decorate the shit out of them. Well, when you're changing your eating habits and cupcakes are baked, I literally turn into the "fat kid that loves cake". Side note: they were really good, all 3 of them....*sigh*. Okay, so note to self, until I have a wee bit more willpower, refrain from baking or hire someone to throw rocks at me when I go to eat them.

Quinoa....really good!

I've never been one to eat breakfast but I have been trying to stay pretty consistent in eating it. The passed couple of days I've been pretty busy in the morning and missed breakfast. By like 11am, I'm starving! I'm definitely going to need either prep my breakfasts as well as my dinners or make sure I have the time to eat them. I feel that if I miss breakfast, by lunchtime I'd be willing to eat anything that's healthy or coated in grease or sugar. Most of the time, grease and sugar win.

Healthy cookies!! what what!

I haven't had a chance to get to the gym at all this week. I gotta try for sure this week. Carter's teething and sick (again) so there's not much sleep happening. Hayden and Jaedyn are coughing up lungs and Matt's work hours have been pretty scattered so I haven't had time to squeeze any gym time in. Must try next week seeing as how I have about 10 extra pounds of cupcakes to work off....ugh...

Fatty McFatterson.....

I'm loving this challenge!!

I've fallen off the wagon. Well more like broke one of the wagon wheels cause I've been eating like a big fat fatty. It's been 10 days since I've last blogged and I guess you could say I've been on a food bender. Wow, I totally know what it's like to be a drug addict...but in the food sense. It's been a really busy few days filled with calories, school projects, and birthday parties. My Dad turned 50 so we celebrated his birthday at Kelsey's. Earlier on in my 'healthy eating journey', I decided that I was going to look up the Kelsey's menu and find a healthy dinner to order. Didn't get around to that, probably because I was baking something and eating it. I figured that I would eat whatever I wanted at Kelsey's because I "deserved it". Yes, apparently I am a dog and I can reward myself with food. In anticipation for this "reward", I dug out my maternity jeans to wear. This should have been a sign that it was a bad idea. I anticipated stuffing my face to the point of my pants not fitting......oh man. One pulled pork sandwich, 2 giant glasses of Pepsi and free dessert later, I probably should have been rolled home. Gross. I've also come to realize that I'm an emotional eater. Sad face= stuff my face. Such a vicious cycle. On the upside of all of this, I've been making slightly healthier choices throughout my day that I normally wouldn't. I discovered that tossing some carrot sticks in olive oil and Italian seasoning and then baking it, makes me wanna hump the stove it's so good. I've found a delicious 12 grain bread that is amazeballs. I just need to keep finding healthy things to replace the not so healthy things that I love.
I managed to finish the second week of that fitness thingy that I was doing. Then stuff got busy, Matt was working longer. Projects were due, sleep was lost...I haven't been to the gym in a week now. Makes me sad cause I felt like I was getting into a "groove"....kinda like the butt groove I leave on my couch cushion. Must....get...back...to...gym.....

Food Anonymous Meetings?

Look at my sexy booody.....

I'm pretty sure I have an addiction to food. Despite the fact that I need it to live, as well as keep my wicked awesome figure, it has such a ridiculous hold on me. I had a wicked awesome week. Egg whites for breakfast, whole grain breads and salads for lunch and a protein and veggies for dinner. I didn't snack at all and actually ate a pomegranate for 2 hours (yes, 2 hours) so I wouldn't snack. And then the weekend came. A lot of people had talked about having a cheat day. I noticed while putting Jaedyn's hair up that she had head lice. What a perfect reason to eat horrible comfort food. So Saturday it was. We ordered pizza for dinner and bought chips and junk food. I know that when you have a cheat day, you probably shouldn't eat enough calories for the whole week. I didn't eat nearly as much as I had anticipated, but I felt like I shouldn't have eaten as much as I did. Now please don't imagine me sitting alone on my couch covered in crumbs with empty wrappers around me while I cry. That didn't happen at all. I threw the wrappers out....No but seriously. When you're on a diet or "shunning shitty food" as I like to call it, the idea of eating something that isn't good for you is a "bad" thing. I know I'm gonna feel like crap after I eat that donut, but that donut is going to taste soooo good. More times than none, the image of Fat Bastard from Austin Powers popped into my head. 'I eat because I'm unhappy and I'm unhappy because I eat'. Once I eat one bad thing, my mind is like "Hey fatass, you've already eaten a cookie, how bought 4 more" Luckily, I didn't let my HORRIBLE weekend ruin the start of this week.
Oh ya, I also went to the gym four times last week. 4 times! Proud of ma self! lol Hitting the gym tomorrow for my second week of Jamie Eason's live fit program. Jamie Eason is a cute little fitness model who seems to know her shit. Hopefully her program helps to firm my shit up...wait that didn't sound right at all....

Nakedness the final frontier.....

What gym is this?!!?

Tricia and I went to the gym the other day so she could sign up. I'm not 100% sure if there was an Aquafit class ending or just a regular swim but when we got there, there was a whole bunch of ladies coming out of the pool into the change room. Now I do not "change" in the changeroom. Let's be honest, if I did, I'd be hiding in a bathroom stall with my eyes closed while changing because even I don't want to see myself naked.  Well, these water logged ladies feel a lot different about being naked in front of other people. I don't make a habit of glancing at naked people in the change room so let's clear that up right away. However, there was one lady in all of her nakedness glory that caught my eye (and not just because she was rather large). Now this lady was large enough to make me look thin. I am in no way judging this woman so please, read on. So with trying to keep chatty conversation with Trish, I noticed that this woman was standing there talking to her friend completely naked. 100%, not a shred of fabric, I don't need a towel to cover me naked. Okay, I understand that it's a change room and these things are normal. But this woman was talking to her friend for a very long time, just letting it all hang out. What's odd is that I didn't once think that the woman was "gross" or needed to put her clothes back on. I was incredibly jealous. Even though the lady was close to 300 pounds, I was jealous! She had more confidence in every inch of her body than I did in my entire 28 years of existence. I hate getting naked alone when I am getting into the shower. If it was socially and hygienically acceptable for me to shower in a t-shirt, I would. This woman was giving the whole change room more of a show than I give my boyfriend on a night when I feel bad cause it's been too long. Too much info for you? Probably...ANYWAY, I'm not saying that I want to be that naked chick in the change room who's working it, but I would like to be that person who can at least not vomit in my mouth when I change in the morning. Mini goal? Yes. Get thin enough to not wanna cry and eat a cookie when I get naked.